What's in a name?
by Le Queen of Morons
Summary: Yachiru visits Konoha with her captain. Sai sees a valuable learning experience.    ...not one of his better ideas.


Relationships were complicated concepts. They involved an elusive range of emotion that Sai still struggled to grasp. He was grateful, then, to find such a good teacher – unlikely though she was.

The young shinobi had watched the cheerful pink-haired child as she road effortlessly on her companion's massive shoulder – masses of bell-tipped spiked hair not bothering her in the least. With the seemingly mismatched duo walked an aggressive bald man and a significantly more effeminate man with strange feather-like ornaments trailing gracefully off one corner his eyebrow and eye lashes. Quite the strange group. Intrigued, he'd followed the unlikely quartet along the street near the center of Konoha.

To his mild surprise, the three men didn't seem to mind when she ran off, seemingly at random. Perhaps the lack of ire at her disappearance had something with how the shiny-headed one turned quite a vivid shade of red and growled with irritation when she'd used his skull as a launching pad. It would appear as if they were confident that she was safe in this town, or perhaps simply that she could take care of herself.

All it took for him to gain the child's interest was an offer to buy candy and a shady spot to sit and enjoy her treat. Before the sugary goodness could reach her mouth, the child had cheerfully introduced herself as Yachiru and shot him a strange look when he'd given her his name.

"You're weird," the pink-haired girl suddenly piped up, pausing to remove her sticky lolly from her mouth.

Contemplatively, he watched the child rake her honeyed gaze over his lean frame. "How so?"

"You're quiet and blank." Abruptly she perched herself in his lap, staring intently into his dark eyes, and pressed one palm to his left cheek, and a fist with the pink lolly-pop sticking out of it on his right. "Like paper." Two small hands squeezed his cheeks together – puckering his lips as a result, before the sticky thumbs drew the corners of his mouth out and up in a forced caricature of a smile. "Yeah, you're Paper." Without warning, she scrunched his cheeks again, prompting the puckered expression to appear again. "I bet Pencil would like you!"

He stared for a moment when she burst into giggles. "Who'sh Penshil?" Pale, elegant fingers closed over her small wrists to gently pull her hands from his face.

"Pencil's Pencil!" Unfazed, she hopped from his lap and stood by him, pointing to the bald man who was with her before. "Just like Pachinko Ball's Pachinko Ball."

Puzzled, he followed her finger, just as sunlight glinted off of the scrapper's brilliant dome. Realization lit upon Sai's now slightly sticky visage. "Ah! Those are nicknames! How did you come up with them?"

"…what do you mean?" It was her turn to fix him with a perplexed look.

"I have been attempting to learn how to bestow nicknames and terms of endearment upon my friends. More often than not, however, my attempts seem to anger those around me." He pressed a hand to the back of his head briefly, where Sakura had landed her most recent punch when he had made another ill-fated attempt to be friendly. "I have not quite yet figured out why." He saw nothing wrong in telling the truth, after all. Ino had called her Billboard Brow for as long as he remembered, and Ugly wasn't necessarily a _bad_ thing. It simply meant that there was room for improvement. "You seem to do it with ease. Do you have a trick of some sort?"

The girl smiled brightly and bounced on the balls of her feet. "Not really. I just say what people remind me of, and that becomes their name!" She sucked on the candy for a second, "Like Boobies and Mini-Mustache!"

Sai paused, an image of a buxom woman sporting a tiny little handle-bar mustache springing to mind. He shook his head when that image took on Lady Tsunade's face. "…I see. So," he pointed to the approaching Neji, "He would be something like…" And he trailed off, looking expectantly down at the child.

"Milky!" She chirped then smiled winningly up at the suddenly baffled Jonin.

The Hyuuga stopped before the two, one aristocratic brow lofting slightly. "…beg pardon?"

"You're Milky! 'Cause of your eyes." Yachiru nodded decisively from her spot by Sai's shoulder. "And he's Paper!" She tugged on the hidden tail of the painter's headband, prompting his head to jerk back a little into the bark of the tree they'd been sitting against.

"Hm," he watched Neji attempt to figure out a way of how to react to the strangeness he had the misfortune of walking in on. Sai wondered if he could think of a suitable name for the little girl he was once again detaching from his person. She was small, her hair pink, a bit like – "Yes, Shrimp here was teaching me about nicknames, Milky."

Pale eyes narrowed slightly, before the usually stoic man sighed while the girl giggled shrilly. Why could he not escape idiocy like this? Gai and Lee were bad enough as it was. Perhaps this was how Shikamaru felt when endlessly faced by aggressive women. "Sai, Lady Tsunade has summoned you." He would take the women to the absurdity.

Sai smiled and stood, nodding to the child in gratitude. "My thanks for the lesson."

Yachiru only smiled and bounced off in the direction of the hapless Pachinko Head. The bald man's shout filtered over to the two shinobi when the girl tackled his lower back and scaled her way up to his shoulders, where she perched easily and wrapped an arm around that gleaming cranium, planting a sticky hand in the center of his forehead.

Paper fell into easy step with Milky. After a moment, he glanced over questioningly. "Do you think…"

"No." Neji already knew the question Sai was about to ask. "It would be far more advisable not to attempt to give Lady Tsunade a nickname." He honestly did not want to be the one to clean up the bloody mess she'd no doubt leave in her wake.

"Oh," the disappointment was fleeting. "Boobies would have been fitting."

Neji stumbled on a bit of nothing in his path. "I…don't think so." He shot the artist a cold glare, "and do not call me 'Milky'."

Sai hummed softly again and withdrew his notebook, scribbling in neat script – 'Perhaps nicknames should be given only selectively. Research further on Kiba and TenTen at a later date.'

* * *

**I mean, c'mon, who _else_ would he go to for advice?**


End file.
